still pissing people off

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Another time, I just hovered nearby while he, balancing a plate of food on one leg, braced by his stroked arm within the confines of the wheelchair arms, spoke with one after another of people on line to be with him. This after a good 2½ hours of singing and chanting. In my view, he was clearly pretty tired and needed respite and some food, and when the plate was brought to him, I expected the people in the room to give him a bit of a pause while he refreshed. They didn’t.

Since I “knew” what he needed, I wanted to intervene. But I didn’t. I just watched. What I kept noticing was, there would be a break between people, he’d pick up a fork and begin to eat, and then, someone else would come up. He’d graciously put his fork down, stop eating and converse. This repeated itself time and again.

At one point, noticing that he hadn’t drunk anything, I found his glass of water on the floor out of his reach. In a pause, I picked it up, handed it to him and went back to my position as a sort of silent guardian. He took a few sips, and put the glass down on the empty chair next to him. Sure enough, someone came up, took the glass off the chair, put it down out of reach, sat down on the chair and began talking.

Somehow, I got the idea people didn’t see him for who he is – a man who had a stroke and by no means had the stamina they assumed. I felt protective. My curiosity and arrogance grew. I was feeling astonished that I seemed to be the only one in the room who was truly looking out for him.

Later on that week, I decided – using this magazine (Voice of Choices) as a cloak of legitimacy – I could ask him for an interview. So I put together a couple of samples of the magazine and included the questions I was really curious about:

Are you still pissing people off and are those around you bold enough to challenge you when you do it?

Have you been actively setting new limits and boundaries on how you wish to be treated by others since you’ve been stroked, or is it more in the realm of an acceptance thing for you?

Do you ever feel the loneliness of not being seen for who you really are?


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